Your Competent Child: Toward New Basic Values for the Family

Your Competent Child Toward New Basic Values for the Family A compelling and revolutionary approach to parenting and family dynamics In this important book Jesper Juul argues that today s families are at an exciting crossroads The destructive values that gove

  • Title: Your Competent Child: Toward New Basic Values for the Family
  • Author: Jesper Juul
  • ISBN: 9780374527907
  • Page: 116
  • Format: Paperback
  • A compelling and revolutionary approach to parenting and family dynamics In this important book, Jesper Juul argues that today s families are at an exciting crossroads The destructive values that governed traditional hierarchical, authoritarian families are being transformed Instead we can choose to embrace a new set of values based on the assumption that families mustA compelling and revolutionary approach to parenting and family dynamics In this important book, Jesper Juul argues that today s families are at an exciting crossroads The destructive values that governed traditional hierarchical, authoritarian families are being transformed Instead we can choose to embrace a new set of values based on the assumption that families must be built not on authoritarian force or democratic tyranny but on dignity and reciprocity between parent and child Children are emotionally competent that is, they always tell the truth about how they are feeling Parents must begin to listen to and learn from the honest feedback they receive from their children When we feel unhappy or dissatisfied with a situation in the family, it is almost always because we were unable to convert our loving feelings into loving behavior To do so, we need to become fluent in what Juul calls personal language a language less concerned with shoulds than with our own emotional honesty Using examples from families in many different countries, Juul has written a book that challenges parents to see the years with their children as an exciting time of growth and development for the whole family.

    One thought on “Your Competent Child: Toward New Basic Values for the Family”

    1. Having recently (two years ago) become a first time parent and being an academic and theoretician by birth and unimpeded habit I "read up" on how to parent by reading mostly everything without (much) prejudice.I would like to recommend parents to avoid this. I would also like to recommend parents to avoid recommendations. Read if you must, but vary the sources of your advice, draw your own and as few conclusions as possible and apply what feels natural in your new parental role toward your typic [...]

    2. Датският психолог Йеспер Юл развива тезите си въз основа на богата практика с деца и родители от всички континенти. Очаквах много от тази книга и го получих - доста храна за размисъл, доста бележки в тефтерчето ми.Основната теза е: от бебешка възраст децата са личности. Ако и [...]

    3. This book is sometimes simplistic or maybe just.ign you struggle a bit to get what the Danish author is saying. But somewhere along the line it grabbed me and drew me into its premise -- seeing the damage wrought by parental control over children, at the expense of good relationship. I found myself really interested in understanding and trying to put into use the better ways Juuls suggests of being in relationship with children. "Children Cooperate" is one of this book's main points, and it's wa [...]

    4. What I love about this book is that is not written as a practical guide, like the most family/parenting books. It doesn’t tell us how to raise our children, but how to see them, get to know them and understand them. It gives us the choice to embrace the great new values and helps the growth of not just the child but the whole family.

    5. Чудесна книга. Най-вече заради удивително фините разлики, които идентифицира между наглед еднакви понятия и ситуациии (например: самоувереност-себеуважение). Също заради способността й да поддържа гръбнака на теоретичното добре изправен чрез прецизно подбрани емпирични [...]

    6. I wish this was compulsory reading for any person that are involved with children, but it is really a good read for anyone in an authoritative position. Communicating well and learning to understand and respect other people can only help you become a better person.

    7. I'm a bit sceptical of psychology in general and as such this book did nothing to change that. Defining the different kinds of "integrity" and "responsibility" as if our personalities can be so easily dissected does not really convince me. There are numerous example dialogues where we are told that changing a few words will make all the difference between good parenting and bad parenting.That being said, I did appreciate the overall message of the book, which is that we need to respect the integ [...]

    8. Ich glaube jeder der Kinder hat oder haben will, sollte dieses Buch lesen. Es ist kein Erziehungsratgeber der Sagt, du muss das so und jenes so machen, sondern Jesper Juul zeigt anschaulich wie unsere Kinder wirklich ticken und warum die althergebrachten Erziehungsmethoden zwar so aussehen als würden sie Funktionieren, aber man im Grund nur einen kurzfristigen Erfolg bringen der langfristig ins Gegenteil umkehren kann. Er zeigt an vielen Beispielen das unsere Kinder uns viele Hinweise geben was [...]

    9. A must for every child and parent. This book explains how we screw up with good intentions. Then the book gives clear advice on how to be a better person to yourself, to your children, to partners and parents. The feelings do not hurt, the words and actions do.

    10. Защо мразя деца, а те ме харесватЦялото ревю:kaka-cuuka/knigi/tvoeto-ko

    11. Recommend every parent, kindergarden (pre-school)teacher, and teacher in general. This book was an eye opener for me.

    12. Според мен както децата имат матури в 4, 7 и 12 клас, така и нас родителите трябва през 3-4 години да ни изпитват и тази книга да е една от първите в конспекта. И да се чете периодично, защото всеки път откриваш нещо, което ти е важно точно в този момент.

    13. I read it in German: Dein kompetentes Kind. It was an interesting journey to read all his thoughts and gave me personally a lot of new ideas how to raise my children. But not only for my family life.I work in a crèche and many of his ideas also work there - especially all about how you talk to a child and how you interact with it. I really like many of his ideas and what I like best: you can use them in your daily life, it is not just a theory. I will now go for his new book I guess

    14. This books reaches far beyond relationship with children. It has definitely helped me understand myself much better and improve my relationship with the loved ones. Jesper Juul breaks it down for you using situations from everyday family life that you can't but recognize yourself. This book helped me become more authentic and made my family much happier.

    15. What does it mean to be a parent? This book summarizes the Scandinavian way of raising children (or at least what is supposed to be Scandinavian correct way of raising children). It is a punch in the face of "command and control" way of raising kids that most of the people of my generation are raised under. Children are not stupid, and they are not mini versions of grown-ups neither.

    16. Juul's book articulates the paradigm shift that occurred in my own understanding of what it means to be a Parent. At times the English translation doesn't make for easy reading, however I still give this book 5 stars because it brings a message I wish every parent (and every person concerned about creating happy, healthy society) would reflect upon.

    17. Really opened my eyes to a different way of thinking about parenting. Not that revolutionary in some ways perhaps, but a subtle shift in attitude and perspective, that has already changed the way I parent. Of course like all parenting books, don't agree with 100% - but what I have gotten out of it has been extremely valuable. Highly recommended.

    18. After only two weeks of using some of the advice from the books, my kids and I work more easily together. Highly recommended for all parents even those have everything under control. You might be surprised and recognize yourself in one of the chapters.

    19. Goda råd om hur man kan hjälpa sitt barn i utvecklingen, lite uselt samvete får man även om han är ödmjukmjuk i tongången

    20. 1) Childrens cooperate, even when they cra or when they are aggressive.2) There is an inner quality "self-esteem", which is nutured by being seen and by being experienced/witnessed as precious the way we are, and there is an outer, acquired quality "self-confidence", which is nutured by praise and critique. The difference between both is the difference between existence and performance.3) Successfully setting limits typically requires a passive part, where we describe the situation and our feeli [...]

    21. Ich habe das Buch gekauft, da Hr. Juul ein gefeierter Experte in seinem Gebiet ist. Leider hat mich das Buch enttäuscht. Ich habe mehrmals versucht es zu Ende zu lesen, finde das aber sehr schwer. Der Grund dafür ist, dass das „Knowledge Nugget“, welches aus den langen Ausführungen und Beispielen hervorgehen soll - nicht erkennbar ist. Das macht die Wissensvermittlung schwierig bis unmöglich. Eine klare Struktur und zusammenfassende Argumentation am Ende der Kapitel würde den Mehrwert d [...]

    22. Osim što mi je dala razmišljati o pristupu prema odgoju djece, ova knjiga prikazuje tipične stereotipe i odgojne mjere koje su koristili naši roditelji, kao i njihove posljedice na kasniji razvoj ličnosti. Prepuna primjera preko kojih autor prikazuje kako je djecu potrebno tretirati kao kompetentna bića i kako je važno razvijati i vlastitu osobnost uz razvoj djetetove, izražavati svoje želje i granice, ovo je jedna od onih knjiga koje je vrijedno pročitati s vremena na vrijeme.

    23. This book is a precedent. It's the first time I give up on a book and put it down before finishing it. As well as first time I ever reward a single star.I've read some poor works before, but at least they had enough value to finish them, while ignoring an undercurrent of disappointment.Maybe it was just the translation in Bulgarian that sucked.

    24. The author's thesis is that children, contrary to adults' conviction, are naturally collaborative and competent. After reading this book, as a mother I feel that being truly respectful to children shall permit us to assume a less stressfull and opressive parenthood.

    25. I'm sure this is basically a really good and worthy book, but to me, I just couldn't get into it, and I would be lying if I said I found it interesting, sorry

    26. Mądra książka, ale to, co naprawdę istotne i do wykorzystania w życiu codziennym, można by zmieścić na 50 stronach.

    27. Kompetentni otrokstr. 8- , da starši ne učimo le z besedami, temveč predvsem s svojim ravnanjem.Str. 9- Jesper Juul nas kot starše uči, da smo odgovorni za svoje vedenje in da bo naše odgovorno vedenje tudi otroke učilo odgovornosti.Str. 15- z razlikami se je težko spopadati, obenem pa prevladuje težnja po ustvarjanju večetičnih, večnacionalnih družb.Str. 35- ljubeče razmerje med moškim in žensko ali starši in otroki je darilo in privilegij.Str. 64- otrokovo integriteto prizaden [...]

    28. Non è certo un manualetto pedagogico con quattro regolette in croce su come diventare bravi genitorizi è un libercolo che distrugge l'idea stessa che si possa essere buoni genitori!Non condivido completamente la sua Weltanschauung ma gli do lo stesso quattro stelline perchè è stato uno dei pochi libri a farmi riflettere compiutamente sui meccanismi di potere all'interno della famiglia e sugli abusi, ovviamente involontari, a cui sottoponiamo i nostri figli non riconoscendo loro una dignità [...]

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